Grandpa is home for the weekend.  Right now he is helping Alex eat a sucker.  Grandpa holds the sucker and twirls it around little Alex's mouth.   Alex then licks his lips and enjoys the sugar in the Dum Dum sucker.  Ever second or third twirl of the sucker, Alex shares his sugary kisses with Grandpa.  Grandpa is just loving it!  Alex gives some of the sweetest kisses even without sugary sucker coated lips but it is so sweet that he is willing to share his sweetness with us.  Another memory perserved for all time.

I was my usual unorganized self yesterday but this time I did not let it get me upset with myself......after all, age should have some privileges and I just went with the flow.  I didn't get the salad done the night before like I had intended to but stayed on the computer and lost track of time.  When I glanced down at the bottom bar I was rudely brought to task when I realized the numbers were saying 3:45 am.  To bed immediately and back up at 8, the scramble began to get it all together so we could eat sometime that day.  Josh came rolling in at the last moment to get Heather's barbecue brought over because we had to use the van and trailer to bring it over.  We got it unloaded and off to work Josh went but he would return after his shift was over later that night.  The day was starting out with rain drizzling down every now and then......but it was still warm outside.  The girls were trying to get all the pools set up that Heather had bought so that the kids could play in the pool.  We had to wait for Tom to get all the dents out of the cover of the barbeque cover where come branches had dented it in during the last winter's ice storm.  Trust a guy to have to remove the dents right when we want to cook the food.  Tom grilled last and had not cleaned the grill and he had already fired up the grill.......so I put some aluminum down to cook the hot dogs, hamburgers and chicken on.  Everything is cooking along just fine and I am getting ready to start transferring some of the food to platter as they get that perfect barbeque look.  I start noticing that I am getting an awful lot of smoking rising from the barbeque and look down under the aluminum.......lots of fire everywhere.  "Heather"  I call, "could you come here a moment."  Just as she almost gets to the grill the fire crosses the aluminum and is now on top of the aluminum and dancing with my chicken, franks, and burgers.  I shut the lid!  Probably was the right thing to do but actually I was shutting it because I couldn't think of anything else to do right at that moment.  Heather  lifts the lid.  The fire is still dancing.  She turns the knobs.....still dancing......she yells to Tom to get water!  Jessie brings to Heather's attention that while she has turned the knobs .....they are sitting at low and not the Off position.  Correction done!  Fire is brought under control.  Happy to say.......all meat were done to perfection!  Restarted just one burner this time to grill the remaining chicken left to be done......and then it was Chow Time.  My Husband called during the meal and did his usual grouch thing since he was missing family time again but while it was not his fault THIS time........we were not going to let it put a damper on our day this time.  So among the laughter and many trips to the table, at the end of the night.....way into the night.....sleepy, hastily damp washclothed grandchildren were passed around, hugged and kissed and bundled into carrier, car seat and seats and sent on their way.  Damien was so out of it that he was asleep in the chair sitting up when he crashed.  I am sure he does not even remember all the kisses goodbye.  Adrianna had a mini meltdown while here but I think she was sort of confused about how little attention it got her.  I have a habit of not responding the way they expect me to when they do have mini meltdowns.  She is not the first to have one and I am sure she will not be the last.  Kids are like that and my kids are extra inventive when it comes to manipulation.  Good thing that I am smart too.......and even better for them that I was since it is not good for a child to be too manipulative.  I can think of nothing that can end a normal  childhood faster than a child that insist on manipulating and controlling events around them to just their benefit.  I think it robs them of their innocense and butterfly-like curiosity.  I have a mess to clean up today since when we started to do the cleanup........NO WATER!!  Yep, once again we ran out of water on the Fourth of July.........but the waterman is coming today so I will be playing catchup most of today.  I thought I would have a lot of food left over but all I have left is some chicken....one Chinese container of pasta salad, the tomatoes and lettuce for the burgers which will be transformed in to BLT sandwiches today, some salt potatoes, and one watermelon.  All in all........we had a Great Day!  Down side.....I did not get the pictures of my grandsons in their identical outfits that I got for them.....and the same size too.  I am hoping that Trish got some that I can "borrow".  Those two babies got passed around so much yesterday.  I just love it and I have such a smile on my face today.  I love our Norman Rockwell moments but I really think we need to work on not setting our food on fire ........seems like every barbeque we have ......we have a Blaze of Glory!  We have it down to a science on how soon to remove the food before it becomes charred remains.

Monday was such a sweet day for me.  Josh brought his family here on his day off and then loaded them all in the van with Jen, Jessica and Alex and then headed to the Fair Haven beach.  Both babies were smothered in sunscreen since none of us wanted to have to deal with crispy babies crying into the night.  They both came back from the beach with roses on their cheeks and smiles on their sleepy faces.  I got to compare both the babies when I laid them side by side in the crib I bought.  Yes, I bought a new crib so when they come to visit and spend the night they will have a familiar bed to rest their weary heads.  Right now I have it set up in the living room since that is where we had it in the winter time for Alex when he was a newborn.  For him, it is like coming home.  Alex and Neko are both just about the same length with Alex only having about an inch or an inch and a half over Neko.  Neko is the heavier and chunkier of the two but that is to be expected since Josh is 6'3" and is a big guy with an Italian, French, German and Irish background.  James is 5'10" is thin and trim with a background of German, Polish and half Phillipino from his Mother's side of the family.  We are curious on how that is going to affect his weight as he becomes an adult since my family begins to have weight issues when they reach puberty.  They looked so cute laying side by side.  Alex is so lively and flexible and seldom is still while Neko is such a laid back baby and is devoting most of his energy just growing and shedding his skin as he moves into the next size larger.  I just love the smiles they have for me and they both recognize my voice.  Neko knows when he hears me that food is not far since I just love feeding him and holding him.  Of course, Alex knows me since I sang him to sleep many a night while he was here and by telephone when he was in North Carolina.  I really need to make a tape of me singing "Hush My Baby" to the grandkids so that they will have a memory preserved for all time since it really does put them to sleep.  I used to sing it to Jen and Jessica when they were babies.  I actually made up the song for Jessica since she was a collicy baby and she liked me to sing to her.  The song orginated by me sing talking to her  to please go to sleep since Mommy was so tired.  I sang it to Jessica for years and when she got older and shared a full sized bed with her sister, Jen, her sister got upset with me one evening since I was singing "Hush My Baby" and she informed me that there were two babies in the bed not just one.  After that, I had to change the song to "Hush My Babies".  Funny how they catch everything........I never even thought of it that way.....and it made her so happy when I changed it to include her.  When everyone got home from the beach, we had pizza for dinner and Jessica got out her Guitar Hero 2 for the playstation and all the older kids got to try their hand at the guitar.  They even managed to get Trish to try!  She did pretty darn good especially since it was her first time at it.  It felt good to have the house full for the evening with all the noise and laughter.  We get to do it again this Wednesday for the Fourth of July.  Sad to say......my Husband got shafted by his company.  Monday they sent a message over the Qualcom ......"Most of you drivers will not be home for the Fourth of July.  We are not going to route you home.  If you get assigned to a load near your residence you get to be home but the company is not making trying to route anyone home.  You will get paid for your work and $80 holiday pay."  At least they did not add "Have a Nice Day".  Great going Priority Transportation Company........nothing like getting them out on the road before you announce that if they had any holiday plans that they could just forget it.  I know most of the non-driving members are going to enjoy the day with their families while you have forced most of your drivers not only to miss being with their families on a family orientated holiday but you are stranding them all over the US since most companies shut down for the Fourth.  You as a Company knew you were going not give them the option of working on their holiday or not at least a week ahead of the holiday.  My guess is that you were concerned that you would have a large number of drivers quit.  Shame on you!   Since my Husband was taking a load to Georgia he is far from home.  He delivered the load Tuesday and they put a load on him to be delivered Thurday morning in PA.  No home time for him.  He is lucky though since they routed a deisel fuelage at a truck stop near his nephew's house in South Carolina so he will not have to sit in his truck for the Fourth of July. He is not too happy!  The kids are looking forward to the games and kiddie pool and all the food.  I got the lawn mowed so they will be able to set up the crochet game and be able to find the ball.  My Husband has already set up to go racing this coming Saturday with Jessica but with a twist.  Jessica is going to race his new car....not him.  Both of them are looking forward to this and James wants lots of pictures taken.  Jessica is getting so excited since James is now suppose to be coming home from his Marine schooling that he has just about completed and will be home on the 14th of July.  One day after their first annniverary but a day late is good when you are in the military since so often you are overseas and can not be toether at all.  OK, back to work for me.......making some of the food up now so I can relax and enjoy my children and grandchildren.  Have a Happy Fourth of July everyone!!!! 

While I am NOT going to have a baby......my babies are coming home until the 11th of July.  Yes, my youngest daughter, Jessica, and my firstborn grandson, Alex, managed to get a ride from North Carolina and only I knew they were coming.  Got really interesting how she had to keep explaining why she was in a car.......she was going to WalMart.....that was her cover story and she stuck to it.  She arrived here sometime about 5 and 5:30 this morning.  My Husband thought he was being funny when he woke me up at a quarter to 6......I am NOT a morning person(not even a tiny bit) ......and got the shock of his life when I actually got out of the bed even though it was only to visit the bathroom.  What I really did was check to see if Jessica had gotten in and get the first hugs and kisses before he came downstairs.  The Look on his face!!  He misses his baby and his grandbaby so much that he was not sure whether he was dreaming or not since I had not given him any indication that something was in the making.  Unlike him, I CAN keep a secret!  Every gift that he has given me .....he always gives it away since he wants to tell me so bad.  After that, we call our daughter, Jennifer, who is at the "Christian Woodstock" called Creation in PA with her fiancee, Tim, to sing Happy Birthday to her.  She turned 21 years old today!  After we got through singing, I asked her if she knew who was singing to her and she said that she recognized Jessica's voice and mine.  I added Dad's title to the mix and then asked her what that meant.  She thought at first that she was hearing Jessica via cell phone until I asked the question about what it meant that she was hearing us altogether.  At 6:30 in the morning.....the brain is a little slow but once she questioned why I would even asked the question, she quessed right when she asked "Does this mean that Jessica is with you?".  Yeppers.....and now instead of getting home Sunday night, the plan is to get here in time to go to church Sunday morning.  She misses her sister so much but Alex is the key to instant attention.  Next call is to my daughter, Heather.  After three calls to the cell phone.....she finally finds her phone and answers.......she also is NOT a morning person.  I say "Hi, Heather" and then start getting Alex to say something and the ham that he is.....he starts making his baby noises!!!  "That's Alex.........I putting on some clothes and will be right over......I am not kidding....I will be right over".  Ten minutes later she come roaring up the driveway.  Good thing she got there in a hurry since we wanted to go to breakfast.  Alex got to use his brand new two toofies on a chopped up pancake smothered in applesauce......Yummy!  Then my Husband and I went down to Oswego to pick up the van from Josh and to visit Neko while everyone else went home to catch some much needed ZZZZZZZZZZ's.  Neko was so cute and cuddly and fell asleep in my arms after giving him his bottle.  Even though Neko is only two months old, he is just about the same size as Alex.  My grandsons are opposites of each other in just about every way except that they just love their Grammie and I just love them to pieces.   I just bet they are going to be best buddies as they grow older and they are going to be a force to be reckoned with.  Add Damien to the mix and they are going to be charming the soxs off the girls......which is fine as long as the underwear stays put....lol.  We are going to have a barbecue on the fourth so here is hoping that Grandpa gets back from his Georgia run early this coming week so he gets to enjoy his "Norman Rockwell" moment.  Cross your fingers!  

I have been keeping a secret!  I get to tell after everyone wakes up this Saturday morning but until then.......mums the word.  And ...NO....I am not pregnant!  But, on the other hand........as a quess.......it is not too far off the mark.  Keeping my mouth shut.....even though I want to spill the beans to someone.....anyone!

Poor Niko, he got his shots yesterday in both of his thighs and I could hear his screams from the waiting room.  They were his very first shots so the sounds are so heart wrenching to me.  So young to learn that even the person you trust will allow someone to hurt you and there is no way you can tell such a small infant that it is for their ultimate well-being that is the cause of the pain.  All you can do is gather their little body into your arms and project as much love and sorrow for their pain and hope they find comfort in your arms.  I always hated the look of betrayal in their eyes when they first realized that they are hurt.........Oh!  ....the guilt!  For me, after my third child, I made my husband be the one to hold our children while the shots were being administered and after he had first chance to comfort them.....to Mama they would come for the final comforting.  I just feel their pain too much.....it was one of my least favorite jobs involving Motherhood.  Neko got to use Grammie as his mattress yesterday since after I fed and burped him, he spend most of the remaining time I was there in my arms.  I just love the feel of a baby in my arms.......especially more when it is my own grandchildren.  I got to spend time with Damien and Adrianna too since Adrianna had a doctor's appointment too.  Damien is Grammie's little shadow wanting to hold my hand and get out of my side of the van.  He can be such a sweetie!  Adrianna was drawing a picture from a book and what an artist she is.  You would never had thought a nine year old had drawn it and she had even modified the picture so that the picture became an orginal since instead of birds holding the lady aloft, she drew wings on the lady herself.  Beautiful Picture!  My daughter, Heather may be moving out of state....she is looking into that possibility....since her job is going to be eliminated if the hospital converts to a diagnostic center.  New York is losing so many jobs and so many people have been leaving the state to find jobs.  My Husband is not taking this news well since he had an entirely different idea of what his life would be like when he grew old and retired.  Norman Rockwell kind of picture, where the family gathers at the old homestead for holidays and family picnics.  If Heather moves, that will mean four of the children of the seven are out of state......Heather tips the half way point to him feeling abandon by his children.  Abandon......his word not mine.  He wants sympathy from me but while I understand his feelings......I am not going to walk down that path with him.  He always had a job to do or a project he wanted completed during the time the children were growing.  We did not get to do the picnics, sightseeing, and just do the sitting back and watching the children together like I wanted to do.  He is a workaholic and I tried to make him understand through the years where his actions were leading him.  He thought he had scheduled enough time for his kids.......now he knows he didn't.  I, on the other hand, did.  I resisted the lure of outside employment with all its materialistic advantages and stayed home to raise my children on the income my Husband was able to provide.  I wanted this for my children and they wanted me home too.  I realized early in life that childhood is fleeting and children's hugs and kisses are the sweetest when they are given on the fly rather than scheduled for after dinner during "family time" since ten minutes before the TV and my Husband starts up the Snore Sawmill.  I made time for my children to fit their needs instead of them waiting for me to make time for me.  Not to say that sometimes they had to wait in line since when I am trying to get the Turkey out of the oven, it is not the time for cuddles.  I hope my Husband will do a little of reevaluating of his priorities and maybe do a little changing if he wants to loose that "abandoned" feeling....afterall, we have a camper so we can go visiting and have our independence too and even more important......we still have children here to enjoy and share our lives with.  I guess I am seeing the glass half full instead of half empty and a chance and reason to do some traveling now that more children are leaving the nest.

I can safely drive again........that spells freedom to me.  I hate it when I can not just be able to get up and go, even if I really have no plans on going to go anywhere.  Just the concept and the ability to leave gives me such a sense of Freedom that I value so much.  Still on pain meds but feel like I am well until they wear off and the pain and stiffness start to return.  I am just thankful that that time of "discomfort" is slowly starting to stretch out to longer intravals between episodes.  I still use my left leg as a visual aid if I start doing too much since it will start swelling again when I do too much.  I am in a hurry to be completely well again since I dislike the restraints that illness can put on you.  I am driving my kids crazy but they gang up on me when I overdo so .......I raised them to care so I can not complain since I would do the same thing to them.  Fairs fair!  This illness has opened my eyes to a whole slew of things that I took for granted before and now I look upon some of the most simplest movements and abilities as blessings.  My grandson, Alex, is starting to stand in his crib and letting go of the crib rail.......soon he will be walking and my daughter, Jessie, will learn just how easy life was before they walk......lol.  He is such a curious child too!  I predict that he will be into everything.  I will be seeing my other grandchildren tomorrow ...I guess that is really today, and I can hardly wait.    I love that they come running up for hugs and kisses when I get there.  I have waited a long time for grandchildren and now I seem to start to have an abundance of them......but there is always room for one more or even two or three or four.  I love children so who is counting.......not me!

I feel like I reentered the land of the living yesterday.  I guess the steriods were finally able to do enough of their job to help eliminate some of the stuff that was causing me so much pain.  I would have gotten to that point a whole lot sooner if my doctor did not develop some kind of sticking point about giving me some pain medications that were more appropriate for my pain.  I have spent most of my life being a sole mother so I have gotten used to pushing through pain and illnesses to be able to care for my children.  Since I had been in the military, having family to fall back on was not always an option that was available to me.  I am a very independent woman that hates to have to ask for help for myself.......for my kids though, I will always put my pride in my pocket and ask.  I think it is a Mom thing sometimes.  I will know that I am ill but I do not realize just how ill until I am well again.  Now that I am better, I am outraged at my doctor.  I hardly ever go to the doctors unless it is to get medication like antibotics that I can not get over the counter so I have to go to him.  I thought he was the greatest doctor but this illness has changed my opinion of him.  It is my belief that because when I was in the waiting room that I did not pull a gloom and doom attitude but was talking to the other waiting patients about how the pain had dropped me to the floor and how my girls had tried to help me all told with a sense of comedy.  I even laughed about some of the episodes.....of course, it was the laugh that the Mother on "That Seventies Show" has that does not involve the back or stomache muscles.  It was that kind of HaHa laugh that is done in the throat.  When my turn to see him came and during the examination came, it was brought out about when I laughed that it caused pain.  He looked at me skeptically and I realized that he had heard me laugh without pain in the waiting area.  I quickly explained to him that there is a difference between a HaHa laugh and the laugh that comes when your sense of ridiculous has been triggered and you laugh from deep within your self....some call it a belly laugh.  I think just because I have a sense of humor and resist being ill, it tainted his medical opinion of how ill I was.  He gave me minimum care with no blood work though to be honest, I had left out how painful my neck pain was because I was afraid that he would pull my license and I would have no way home.  Bad part about living in the country is there is not public transportation and no cabs.  My Husband is a truck driver and was in Georgia and all my kids were at work......so being the Mom....I was going to tough it out again.  My doctor gave me a muscle relaxer and an antiinflammitory drug..but nothing for the pain.  I went home and essentuallly just went into a pain induced state of vegetation until my daughter convinced, cadjoled, begged, and demanded that I go to the emergency room.  I was in so much pain but had gotten stubborn about the doctor not giving me something....anything....for the pain that I was appalled that I was being treated like a drug seeker......without any foundation!  I had told him of all the pain everywhere....the only thing I left out was that I had lost the abililty to pain to turn my neck properly.  I could only turn my head from a 10 o'clock position to a 2 0'clock position and by the time I got home......11 o'clock to 1 o'clock.....that is why I did not drive after I got out of my van upon returning home from the doctors.  The emergency room gave me heavy duty drugs for the pain but did not do any blood work on me.  While I wanted the pain to stop and the drugs would do that, for a $100 I should have had blood work done since the pain that I was experiencing was out of proportion to the injury.... way out of line, especially for me since I have a high pain tolerance.  If they had done the blood work, a lot of my suffering would have been dealt with then since the blood work done on the next Monday clearly showed that something was wrong.  If the hospital had let my daughter back with me like I requested, the blood work would have been done since she had already knew something else was going on since she had cared for me the entire time I had gone to complete involuntary bedrest that the pain had reduced me to.  I wanted her with me since I knew that I was not thinking clearly and she had more facts than me since my world had been reduced to just surviving the pain and getting to the bathroom on time.  They did not bring her in until after they were releasing me.  Monday back to the doctor with even more new symptoms and this time I confessed that I had not told him all about the neck and now the swollen left leg and the jaw that hurt to open and felt like it was trying to lock up on me.  He ordered Xrays and my daughter insisted on blood work.  He was not happy but complied but we had to wait two days to get the results.  The results of the blood work resulted in me seeing a rheumitologist that afternoon after she heard what my blood work was.  I am my own worst enemy sometimes.  My daughters were with me but when the rheumitologist asked me about pain pills when she was writing out my drug scripts, I told her that I had some.  No one thought to ask how many I had.......which was two pills.  While I was on pain pills, they just made it where I could be mobile by reducing the pain.  They never completely took away all the pain.  I was OK with that since I knew that the pain pills that emergency had given me were strong pills.  I ran out of the pills and turned in to the biggest crybaby in the world....to my own horror and disbelief.....the pain was horrendous and I felt so dependent on others to even move in my bed.  My daughter call the rheumitologist but she had gone on vacation so we were told that any pain meds had to come from our primary doctor.  I have one daughter that works in a pharmacy so she checked to see if the doctor could call in a script for strong meds so that I did not have to go to the doctor's office to get the script.  Yes, but only 5 days worth.....okay by me since that would give the other meds time to do their job.  My doctor came up with one excuse after another which my daughter had the answers to until finally she got mad.  "Look, we are only asking for enough pain pills for just a few days until the other meds can get a chance to work.  My Mother is suffering and I can not stand to see her in so much pain so what is the problem!"  They sent a script.  For a non narcotic pain med that reduced the pain to barely tolerable limits.  Just enough to keep me from asking for something stronger but I feel like I am being punished.  He could have made me pain free or even a lot more pain free than I was.  I curse him in my brain for being cruel because he was wrong and something else WAS wrong with me and he dropped the ball.  I do not blame him for dropping the ball but I do not forgive him for making me suffer through pain that was not necessary.  I do not trust him anymore.  The Polmyalgia Rheumatica Arteritis picked a perfect injury to sneak into my system and remain undetected until it had a strong foothold into my system.  I resent being treated like a DRUG SEEKER  especially since there has never been indication that I could be and especially after I was diagnosed with a pain inducing illness.  So, now as I am getting better, I have the chore of finding another doctor and finding out what restrictions my insurance policy puts on me about location and doctors available.  I guess I am just confused.  I do not understand why anyone would even think that I might be a drug seeker.......or do they just treat everybody that way if they have any complaint of pain in the back or spine? 

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday to my youngest son, Joshua!!!  A quarter of a century old.....old age is sneaking up on you so enjoy your life to the fullest.   Here is a picture of my big guy and his little guy.  Neko sure looks small in his arms.

But in the arms of my other grandchildren (his brother, Damien, and his sister, Adrianna). you can see what a chubby wubby he is.  He is exactly 8 weeks old today.  If his wife had been in the picture, I would be saying that this is a picture of the wealth in my Joshua's life and his dream come true.  He has always wanted to be a Family Man and now he is and he is loving it

I pulled a muscle in my back last week and then continued to keep pushing on since my Husband was on vacation and I thought I could tough it out.  Monday morning I refused to ride in the passenger side since I felt I was just making my injury worse trying to climb up into the van even with a helping hand from my Husband to help pull myself into the van.  So I drove and put on a Happy Face so he would not know the pain that I really was in and feel guilty for leaving me while he went out on the road to make a paycheck.  I would have gone to the doctor's then but I had promised to babysit my two grandsons so my daughter-in-law could have her 6 week checkup following Neko's birth.  I had also promised my granddaughter Adrianna to attend her school choral performance that evening.  When I promise, I deliver unless something major intravenes.  I went to court with my son the next morning since I am his Mom and he needed me there even though he is the one being harassed.  Leaving him, I went straight to the doctors.....muscle relaxer and anti-inflammitory drugs.....nothing for Pain....that was Thursday.  Saturday night....emergency room.....they did give me pain killers but did nothing else.  Back to the doctors Monday with more things going wrong and I am now progressing to looking like a 70 yr old bent over shuffling pain-wracked individual.  My daughter, OutandAboutTown, is having a fit.  I would give you a link but right now I have forgotten how to do it.  She wants bloodwork and Xrays since she does not think this is just a pulled muscle.  The doctor finally does the blood work and says to come back in 48 hours.  Since they gave me pain meds I am functioning but just barely but really do not realize it since my world has narrowed to being able to get to the bathroom on time.  We go back to the doctor and he says some of my things are slightly elevated.  My daughter drops a bomb when she informs him that she would like a copy of the lab work which of course I had to ask for since my case in the emergency room was being reviewed by the Head ER doctor.  Suddenly I needed to see a rheumintologist and they started the paperwork.  We left.  About an hour later, my Husband gets ahold of my daughter saying that my rheumintologist wants me to come in that afternoon.  Seem that my SED rate was a cause for concern plus a few of the other readings too.  Seems that a normal SED rate is about .75, my SED rate was 28.75.  Seems that a little medical condition decided to hide its prescence by acting like side effects of a pulled muscle and then went a whole lot farther.  I now have a Inflammatory disease of the large arteries which causes an autoimmune disorder in which the body's immune system attacks and destroys its own tissues (especially connective tissue)......it is called Polymyalgia Rheumatica Arteritis.  It is usually curable, but relapse is possible.  They put me on steriods.  They keep telling me that they are sorry that they have to put me on the steriods but they have to get my levels down.  I guess the cure has as many complications as the disease.  If it gets rid of  the pain.......that is the line I want to be in.  I find the pain so crippling.  I am having a rough few days as my pain meds are gone and nobody has thought about me needing them.  Every time since Saturday......I have been on pain meds so I function but without them my body starts to crab up.  I am giving it until tomorrow for the new meds to work so the pain will go away.  If not, to the Doctor's I go again......sigh!  These copays are killing me!